A
Surrogated Mother
I was
working for a European based International Nongovernmental Organization in one
of the south-east Asian countries. My job was to help sexually abused women and
troubled surrogated mothers in a big city in the country. Rather than medicine,
counseling was the best method to enable the victims to return to a normal
life. I was a counselor.
The
poverty prevailing in the county had forced women either to be involved in
prostitution or to be a surrogated mother just to make a living. Many brothels,
running illegally, were exploiting young women and making a huge amount of
money by using the innocents’ body. A large number of women who were involved
in prostitution were not happy to be in the profession and were seeking
alternatives. Some aid agencies were helping them to get out of the brothels and
away from the pimps and start a safer life. Many women were fighting with HIV
and most of them were dying for lack of medicine that was very expensive.
One day
a woman in her late twenties came to my office with tears in her eyes and
requested help. She was a troubled surrogated mother. She agreed to be a
surrogated mother for the intended parents for a large amount of money. The
money she took was just for her survival. A couple from another country had
just used her uterus because it was a gestational surrogacy. It was not a traditional
surrogacy. In gestational surrogacy, the resulting child is not related to the
surrogate. The gestational surrogate is referred to as gestational carrier.
I asked
her, “Why are you crying. What is your main problem?”
She
said, “I agreed to be a surrogated mother. Yes, I am a gestational carrier; however,
I don’t want to sell my child. It is a part of my body. I don’t want him to go
with them. They are forcing me to give up the child with the help of the law.”
“Why did
you agree to be a surrogated mother?” I asked.
“It was
my poverty that compelled me to do so.” she replied.
I asked,
“What can I do for you?”
“Please
convince the couple to leave the child with me. Please ask them to show mercy
and not take any legal action to take the child. They are only biological
parents but I am the real parent. I am the true mother. I have kept the baby in
my uterus for nine months while they have done nothing. They just have given some
chemicals which were inserted into my body. That is it.” She
began to cry.
She
continued, “I did a very shameful deed. I am regretting it, but at same time, I
am finding no any reason to live.”
“If the
couple agrees, and the legal case comes to an end, will you give up being a
surrogated mother?”
“I don’t
know.” She said.”
“Why?”
“It is
better to be a surrogated mother than starving. An empty stomach can kill any
one and everything. It can kill religion, nationality, morality, humanity, and
soul.”
She
added, “This is my first child. I want to keep him with me. I love him deeply.
Motherhood is stopping me from abandoning him. My request is only to leave this
child with me.”
I
remained silent.
She
said, “You are rich people. You never have experienced the fire of hunger. This
fire can burn anything without any mercy.”
I had no
comments.
Bishwa Raj Adhikari
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